Wednesday, 29 September 2010

A lesson learned

The one person who listened,
isn't listening any more.

The one person who cared,
doesn't care any more.

The one person from whom I took so much,
isn't giving any more.

And it takes a while to get used to that.

This new world.

This frightening world.

In which I'm not as assured
as I once was

In which I'm not as happy
as I once was

In which I'm not as stable
as I once was

I thought I'd be more exciting, more outgoing,
just as carefree, just as sure.

That's the truth.

But I never realised how much of me
was built on you.

Built on your comradeship and trust,
your ear and word.

Now I know.

Now I know.

And it's a hard lesson to learn,
that I can tell you.

It's a very hard lesson to learn.

It's a lesson so hard that
I don't feel I'll ever stop learning it,
that I'll ever grow out of this pain,
that I'll ever move on.

That's a hard lesson to learn.

And it’s one that I know was my fault.
One that I know I could have avoided.

But how was I to know that then.

I could have known it.
A better man would have known it.

But I didn't.

And for that, it seems
I must tear myself to pieces,
and write these frenzied words

So that I never forget.

So that in the future I can say,
this is a lesson that I've learned,
it's not one that I need to learn again.

Now lost,

Words trickle and yet don’t run
Frozen in the moment’s breeze
Another turn wasted and done
Searching for the suited keys
Sit. Watch time pass again
Pressure? Until dawn maybe.
Breathe and wait until then
Eyes blurred, tears cold
Talking’s not wanted here
Stories bored already told
Clutching nothing but fear
I can’t play, I never learned
Not picked, never hurt
Now lost,