A lesson learned

The one person who listened,
isn't listening any more.

The one person who cared,
doesn't care any more.

The one person from whom I took so much,
isn't giving any more.

And it takes a while to get used to that.

This new world.

This frightening world.

In which I'm not as assured
as I once was

In which I'm not as happy
as I once was

In which I'm not as stable
as I once was

I thought I'd be more exciting, more outgoing,
just as carefree, just as sure.

That's the truth.

But I never realised how much of me
was built on you.

Built on your comradeship and trust,
your ear and word.

Now I know.

Now I know.

And it's a hard lesson to learn,
that I can tell you.

It's a very hard lesson to learn.

It's a lesson so hard that
I don't feel I'll ever stop learning it,
that I'll ever grow out of this pain,
that I'll ever move on.

That's a hard lesson to learn.

And it’s one that I know was my fault.
One that I know I could have avoided.

But how was I to know that then.

I could have known it.
A better man would have known it.

But I didn't.

And for that, it seems
I must tear myself to pieces,
and write these frenzied words

So that I never forget.

So that in the future I can say,
this is a lesson that I've learned,
it's not one that I need to learn again.